Mindset - Chapters 4 - 6 questions

I agree that a mindset in sports is important, but the first example who was such a natural talent did in fact have several years of success in high school. The later example, Maury Wills, confuses me. His hitting isn't good enough, but he is positive and optimistic. And unsuccessful. He works harder. He keeps working and still isn't good enough. So then it says he's ready to quit but the 1st base coach won't let him because now he needs to work on his mind. There isn't really any explanation of what he does, but suddenly he begins hitting. So it appears that you have to have the talent and diligent work ethic in place before having the correct mindset makes you successful. I think I would argue that in sports, natural ability counts for something.

According to Dweck, the mindset is all important: for sports persons, CEOs, and personal life. She gives example after example of sports figures, business leaders and relationships where having a fixed mindset leads to losses. Pure talent, I think is a misnomer. Unless sports figures learn and practice the game, they aren't going to be good at a sport. For example, in 6th grade, I had a brief stint on the basketball court. I could run like the wind and dribble and pass. One time I even scored - for the other side. I didn't know the rules. That one game turned me into the sports reporter for the school paper. I obviously had some talent (although one could argue that no one was trying to stop me), but little knowledge of the rules of the game. Who knew they switched sides of the court at half time? Of course natural ability counts for something (2 points for the away team in this case), but it would probably have helped if I had watched the game on TV, or even thought enough to get a copy of the rules for the game. Coaches could have nurtured me, but they interpreted my mistake as inattention rather than ignorance.

I like that there are CEOs who are willing to risk their own reputation for the benefit of the company. Long term thinking can only help in any aspect of life. It's refreshing to know that there are people who will work for a real achievement rather than just trying to look good on paper.

I've been thinking lots lately about cliques and mean girls lately, due to some stuff going on at school, and I can definitely see where Dweck gets her concerns about a fixed mindset in relationships. I was especially interested in her section about bullies. I once sat in a parent meeting, where the parent said that I seemed like a weak person to her. It took everything I had to not to tell her that the loudest person at the table is not always the strongest. I also once got into a car and locked the doors rather than get into a physical fight with another woman who tried to attack me. She said I was chicken**** but the man I ended up marrying said, "No, she's got class." A growth mindset worked for me there. I did not need to prove myself according to someone else's mode of action. There is a line from the Bible that most of us are familiar with: "Judge not, lest ye be judged." When I was a child, I thought that meant that other people or God would be doing the judging. As an adult, I know that I am my own harshest critic. The best skill I learned for maintaining a marriage of over 27 years is to admit when I'm wrong, and let lots of thing go. My ego will survive even if I'm not always right. (Even when I am, if it's not a major issue.)

I don't think that this is a "new" psychology. I do think that people have been doing it for many years. For example, I'm a member (card- carrying, life-member) of Optimist International. The Champaign-Urbana OI Club has been in existence for over 50 years. To quote part of our creed: "To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. ... To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others." These lines truly ask members to embrace a growth mindset. I take a lot of flack from half-empty people (just joking, of course), but there is plenty of research to show that ours is not a Pollyanna kind of existence. It is a philosophy that is more realistic and healthy than pessimism. I like that Dweck comments on the spirit of optimism as a growth mindset. New? No. Helpful reminder or eye-opener? Definitely.

So - what can I take-away? Well - so far, I have found it very effective to encourage my students on their effort, rather than their natural talent. Two students come to mind in particular, who struggled with a recent writing assignment, yet kept at it, largely because, I think, I praised them each for their willingness to"stick" to it. Their papers are more developed than some of the students whom I consider natural talents.

I find this book helpful too, because it helps me to understand the thinking of other people in various situations. While it is dangerous to think that I know anyone else's motivation for acting or saying what they do, this book opened my eyes to possible reasons for the hurtful behavior of other people. It's easier to let things slide off your shoulders if you can walk for awhile in another person's shoes. We're all journeying into the future. I'm glad to be a person who can choose from a variety of paths.

"She's got class" referred to me. Those darned antecedents.

1. "Pure" talent according to Dweck is not as important as the mindset. I enjoyed to references to Michael Jordan. If I knew that he was cut from his varsity team in high school, I did not remember. Or that he was not even get his first pick for college. It feels good to think that work ethic and mind set mean something. My first cousin was a very talented basketball player. He was given a full ride to the University of Illinois back in the early 80's when the UofI was kicking butt under Lou Hensen. My cousin was the most naturally talented athlete to come out of our hometown and he thought that Lou should still treat him like the king he was and give him the "playing time" he deserved. When Lou disagreed with him, my cousin told Lou what he could do with his scholarship. Lou took it away. My cousin next went to Fresno State - same story, UNLV - same story.
2. The CEO section was one of my favorites. The fixed mind set that would set the company up for failure because they were leaving and this failure of the company without them would be some kind of shout out to them that the company could not make it without them. Wow, what nerve. I guess it is just hard for me to understand that type of thinking. I admire people who appreciate, understand and get advice from the workers in the trenches. I think that the saying is true that a company is only as strong as it's smallest or weakest link.

3. Believe it or not, I read this chapter to my husband on our way to one of many hockey games. We laughed - a lot!! I think that is it easy- when you are younger- think that everything should be perfect. I can remember a time or two that I thought that he SHOULD know what was wrong. If I had to tell him what was wrong, then how could he ever fix it? Now, my most favorite times are those that we disagree, but discuss to prove to the other why our point is valid or true.

3. If you are too rigid and fixed then it is all to easy to break. I was lucky in that my husband and I grew together. We have had many ups and downs, and I can truly say that it is the strength of the downs that make the ups so good.

4. Do I agree? I am not so sure that it is a "NEW" psychology of success, but I think 1. you have to be able to work hard to truly enjoy your accomplishments, 2. success is never accomplished by standing on someone else's back, and 3. you have to be flexible, roll with the punches or life, love and the daily grind can snap you 4. A happy heart can carry you father than a gnarled, dried up one.

5. Right now, with economy, job loss- even in our own town and district, rising prices, oil spills things seem overwhelming. I feel down watching teachers clear out their rooms, feeling that we have no control over our futures. At least this book gives me some hope that hard work, and dedication can take you somewhere. That we do have some control over our course as long as our bosses are not of the fixed mind set.

When I read the CEO chapter, I thought it was interesting that Wurtzel from Circuit City was mentioned, as CC went bankrupt last year and no longer exists. I dug around a little bit and found the following quote:

"Very, very sad," said Alan L. Wurtzel, the son of company founder Samuel S. Wurtzel, and the chief executive from 1972 to 1986, board chairman from 1986 to 1994 and vice chairman until 2001. "I feel particularly badly for the people are employed or until recently were employed."

Wurtzel has previously said Circuit City didn't take the threat of rival Best Buy Co. seriously enough and, at some points, were too focused on making a profit in the short term instead of building long-term value.

I think in our previous meeting we discussed short-term goals vs long-term goals with the idea that the former was more of a fixed mindset and the latter a growth mindset. Maybe this outcome for Circuit City backs that to some degree.

Summary of Mindset Chapters 4-6

Luz Ríos, María Cardoso and Tracy Barker

Chapter 4: Sports

The main idea in chapter 4 is that although a person’s physical body, anatomy, etc., is important to their eventual success as an athlete, in fact this is not the determining factor. What is the greatest single factor is the person’s desire to succeed such that they are willing to be dedicated, devoted and disciplined in such a manner that they will dedicate hours to improving their skills.

They also have what is referred to in the book as a “take charge” attitude. They do not leave it “fate” rather they believe that they are the architects of their own fate.

These growth mindset people understand that a superior athlete is not “born”, but rather he or she develops his or her ability through tireless and continue effort … and failure!

Chapter 5: Business: Mindset and Leadership

It appears that in business (and, we believe in any “organization”, such as a school, etc.) the single greatest “Achilles’ heel” is the ego. An ego-based person is a “fixed-mind” person and he or she has a need to constantly prove him or herself that they are the best and superior to others. This superiority actually creates a great vulnerability that can lead to this person’s fall. More importantly it can lead to the failure of a business or organization such as that of Enron, as noted in the book.

Luz Ríos, María Cardoso and Tracy Barker

Chapter 6: Mindsets in Love (Relationships)

We had a “Light bulb” or “Aha” moment, as Oprah likes to say, when we read Chapter 6.

It was fascinating to learn that there was a huge difference between how growth-mindset and fixed-mindset people reacted to the traumatic end of a relationship.

It appears that the fixed-mindset personality perceives the end of a relationship or rejection as an affirmation of their “unworthiness”, rather than perhaps considering other factors, such as compatibility, communication skills, etc., etc. And that person’s reaction to the experience is to “seek revenge” rather than to move on, forgive and focus on what they want to bring into their life.

A growth-mindset person on the other hand, is more likely to forgive their partner and does not interpret the break-up as a reflection of their failure as a person. He or she therefore does not experience the subsequent loss of self-esteem and self-worth. He or she is “free” to move on and to focus on bringing into his or her life that which they want more of.

Which led to the “Aha” moment … perhaps the difference between fixed-mindset and growth-mindset people is that the fixed-mindset are outer referenced rather than inner referenced. They believe that what they do and whom they are with determines their value and success in the world. The inner referenced person we imagine is someone who knows they are inherently worthy and loveable. Their relationships and successes in life are not reflective of their innate value as a human being. This inner-reference allows them a freedom to take risks, to fail, and to grow.

I came away with some positives from this reading, particularly the section where the author talked about the relationship with her mother and the fact that whether her mother ever reciprocated, the author would still come out ahead of where she was. I think this attitude can benefit in all relationships, both familial and collegial. I think the idea of talking someone through the "lashing out" part of being upset is helpful as a teacher. I often offer a kid time to "cool down," when he might be better served by talking rather than continuing to stew and focus on whatever was upsetting.